Journal
Practice & process notes
Occasional writing on my art practice, techniques, process, and the ideas behind the work.
10 articles on Thought & Theory
October 19, 2023
Notes & Advice 12: Tapping Into The Creative Flow
Last week at an educational event for tattooers called the Paradise Tattoo Gathering, I spoke about the flow of creative energy, which is something that all creators and visual artists quite obviously need and depend on. I believe it's a universal force that we can tap into by opening up our awareness and observational skills through artistic training. The act of focusing our minds on practicing a task like life drawing or painting–a task that requires us to continually drop our preconceived notions of reality (ego) and observe with unbiased intensity and clarity–is what opens up the energetic channel within us that receives this universal force. Researchers have called this a "flow state." And for tattooers, drawing/painting/working in other mediums is an incredible way to not only strengthen that artistic flow state but make it easier to access whenever you need it. Excellent, creative, innovative artwork or tattoos don’t happen in a vacuum. This creative energy needs to be allowed into our life/mind by how we're living and being, and then filtered down into our painting or tattooing practice, or whatever artistic medium is at hand. For example, it's very difficult to declare, "I'm going to be creative and come up with a brilliant image or idea, right here and now!" and then just make that happen on command. What is far more realistic or more often the case is that we lose ourselves in the training, in the practice, in the task of learning and developing our skills free from heavy expectations, and in this free and loose state of action or doing, ideas start to occur to us. Iterations and variations on a theme or technique evolve naturally, bringing us to an eventual solution to a visual problem and gifting us the creative ideas or innovations. We get to claim credit for them, and rightfully so as the products of our hard work and dedication, but on a more esoteric level, it's the universal flow of energy (life!) doing us a favor behind the scenes with a wink and a nod. The process described here has been the driving force in my life, and the driving force behind my entire tattoo career. It's something I’ve taught in my “Holistic Approach” tattoo seminar for years, and something I remind myself of constantly in my painting practice as well as tattooing. If you're a tattooer or visual artist searching for your unique, authentic voice or battling the ole artist's block, try thinking about this concept and apply it wherever you can, I think you'll be pleased with the results!
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August 2, 2023
Run Script: gaiatheory/upload.exe
I. Upload And Transcend Since Vernor Vinge’s work in the 1980s there has been a belief by some that, through an event called the singularity, mankind will in some way leave the organic temporality of this flesh and blood planet to merge with the digital data stream and ascend the eternity of space. The singularity of man and machine, or consciousness and data, seems to be the adaptation by futurist utopians of ancient spiritual traditions whose endgame is enlightenment, or the transcendence of one’s limited human form and consciousness. What interests me most about this lineage of evolving belief systems are not the specific details but the repetition of common themes and their overarching narratives that create universal archetypes which, like a cybernetic feedback loop, help mold and dictate the course of the human species. They are the casting of spells in our collective consciousness by the shamans of every era. II. Mother, Earth The mother archetype of Western culture arguably begins with the Earth goddess Gaia of the ancient Greeks: our home planet personified as a woman who raises and nurtures us. In the 1970s this idea was adapted by James Lovelock and others into a unifying theory that the planet Earth is a highly complex singular organism sustaining all of our lives: The Gaia Hypothesis. In the 20th century, the Earth once again became our expressed need of a mother to guide us, as our civilization simultaneously destroys it and seeks intervention from our short-sighted vices. If climate change studies are to be believed, one resulting popular nihilistic narrative assumes that our poisoning of this planet will likely doom the survivors of our species to cosmic vagabondage, searching the stars for a new mother who might adopt us and nurse us back to health in her embrace. If so, the Gaia Theory of life on this planet will need to be uploaded to the artificial intelligence systems piloting our search for our next home, preserving this crucial knowledge in the substrate of our new digital consciousness. Let us remember and preserve what it means to have a mother, to be nurtured and fed. III. Lineages In Pop Culture and Adornment These concepts of transcendence and the universal Mother are embodied by numerous popular science fiction stories of the hero's quest to transcend their own consciousness, many of which influence my work and this piece in particular. Another idea explored in this piece is our human lineage symbolized by the persistence of ornamental and functional headdresses worn through the ages, from the Pharoahs in the Middle East to tribes in the West and our current and future explorers in the cosmos. The adornment of the head, the home of our internal supercomputer, the source of the mind and the mystery of consciousness, seems to be a universal human understanding and a widely adapted practice. All historical images and cinematic stills are property of their owners and studios; please don’t sue me. Shout out to “Alien,” “Minority Report,” and “Total Recall” (2x). Click the next/back arrows to see more detail images.
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June 22, 2023
Cybernetic Karma Algorithm
"Cybernetic Karma Algorithm" / Oil on Linen Panel / 36 x 18 inches / 2023 The DNA of any two people on Earth is supposedly 99.6 percent identical. If such biological uniformity flies in the face of all of our supposed uniqueness as people, could there also be a universal algorithm determining the course of each of our lives? While the concept of Karma is often used in pop culture as a synonym for punishment based on an entirely subjective concept of deservedness, I believe it to be a description of the infinitely interwoven complexity of causes and conditions in our shared reality, like a universal algorithm churning out most likely results based on combinations of inputs. Under this logic, this very moment, our present selves, are the cumulative result of every decision and choice that we have ever made, that everyone has ever made, of everything that has ever occurred in the universe in an unbroken sequence since the dawn of time. It is not personal, nor does it care about intention any more than it being a lever of probability for certain outcomes. Similarly, identity and individuality has become precious in our culture, but contrary to this popular mythos of self, I often wonder just how few human stories are actually playing out. Swap out a few details of an identical plot or zoom out wide enough and the argument can be made that we are all treading through remarkably similar trauma loops and life trajectories, chasing the reunion of psychological wholeness through universally shared archetypes, like the “more-human-than-the-humans” android hosts of Westworld. A loss for our ego-based individualism, but, oddly, a win for our deepest spiritual truths of empathy and unity. So while our default psychological programming seems to be mostly myopic, I believe you can take a hyperopic look around and see yourself in anyone, because at our base psychological or karmic level we are all more similar than we’d like to believe, perhaps merely living out minutely subtle variations of a cybernetic formula so vast it becomes opaque to our biologically limited perception. The individuality of a being is a certain intricate form, not an enduring substance. In order to understand an organism, it must be thought of as a pattern which maintains itself through homeostasis – life continues by maintaining an internal balance of various factors such as temperature and molecular structure. While the material substances that compose a living being may be constantly replaced by nearly identical ones, an organism continues functioning with the same identity as long as the pattern is kept sufficiently intact. Since patterns can be transmitted, modified, or duplicated, they are therefore a kind of information. Based on this, Wiener suggests it should be theoretically possible to transmit the entirety of a living person as a message (which is practically indistinguishable from the concept of physical teleportation) – although he admits that the obstacles to such a process would be great, because of the enormous amount of information embodied in a person, and the difficulty of reading or writing it. control and communication in the animal and the machine "society can only be understood through a study of the messages and the communication facilities which belong to it; and that in the future development of these messages and communication facilities, messages between man and machines, between machines and man, and between machine and machine, are destined to play an ever-increasing part." –Norbert Wiener the ability to cure all temporary truth of eternal triteness manipulating defensible metaphors creating equilibrium in a world of constraints and possibilities the science and art of understanding Influences and Inspirations The human machine Cybernetics is a wide-ranging scientific and philosophical field concerned with circular causal processes such as feedback, where the observed outcomes of actions are taken as inputs for further action in ways that support the pursuit and maintenance of particular conditions or their disruption, forming a circular causal relationship. In other words, actions, consequences, and lessons learned. Karma? The detective's bulletin board: an enduring showbiz cliché......not unlike the digital versions we all now use: windows of the soul © New Line Cinema / Se7en How few human stories? Jung's diagram of the self Bondage, fruition, expression © 20th Century Fox / Minority Report © 20th The Walt Disney Company / Family Guy algorithm [ al-g uh -ri th-uh m ] noun Mathematics. a set of rules for solving a problem in a finite number of steps, such as the Euclidean algorithm for finding the greatest common divisor. Computers. an ordered set of instructions recursively applied to transform data input into processed data output, such as a mathematical solution, search engine result, descriptive statistics, or predictive text suggestions.
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March 12, 2020
My 20-Step Program for Perfect Art Reproductions
If you’re a painter or visual artist working in any traditional media, capturing digital images of your work is practically a requirement nowadays, and has been for a while. I don’t know any artist who could survive without getting images of their work onto the internet, submitted to publications, made into prints, or a variety of other applications that require a quality reproduction. And quality is the key word here: representing yourself with a poor version of your work will hurt your chances of success. You wouldn’t think that capturing quality images of a completely still, flat object in a controlled indoor setting would be one of the most challenging photography jobs, but it is. I’ve actually paid pro photographers to shoot images of my paintings, and gotten a disc full of yellow-tinted garbage and flat-out unusable files, because those photographers weren’t well versed in the highly specific nuances of this photography application. (untitled), oil on linen panel, 8 x 10 inches, 2016 The details matter here, and skipping any of the major or sometimes even minor steps will usually compromise the end result, to varying degrees. With so many factors that can go wrong, it’s wise when possible to devote an area of your studio to this, with dedicated lighting, equipment, and pre-measured distances and angles. Depending on the level of compromise or imprecision in your studio setup, the more editing of your raw files you’ll need to do on your computer. But even the best photography results will still require basic cropping and picky stuff like smoothing over a blown pixel from your camera’s sensor, or eliminating a small cat hair that somehow floated and stuck to the painting (cats are thoughtful like that, always trying to help…). So here’s the equipment you’ll need (with what I currently use in parentheses), followed by the process, which was taught to me by the talented and wonderfully kind British painter Edward Povey and his wife Donna Tolar. I’ve added some of my own Adobe Photoshop expertise to their process for correcting photography shortcomings, and that’s included as well, but you’ll need a fairly good understanding of the program to follow my brief notes (or else this would be book length, not blog post length, sorry). Equipment Camera: full-frame sensor DSLR (Canon EOS 5D Mark III) Lens: anything in the 50mm range, without a zoom (Canon EF 50mm 1:1.2 L) Tripod: sturdy, with fully adjustable ball joint mount (Manfrotto 290 and 496RC2) Remote shutter cord (Canon RS-80N3) Circular Polarizer Filter to fit lens (Promaster) 2 adjustable freestanding studio lights with daylight balanced bulbs 2 Polarizer filters for the studio lights (Visual Pursuits Glare-Stop 8M Filter) Easel or flat wall space for mounting artwork 90º perpendicular to floor. Tape measure and/or ruler Level (the straight/flat tool with the little air bubble vials) White, neutral gray, or black sheet or walls Enclosed, light-proof studio space (for best results, it should be on par with a film processing darkroom, or shoot at night with all curtains/blinds drawn) Computer (Imac, 4.2 GHz Intel Core i7, Radeon Pro 580 8 GB) Photoshop CS4 or newer (CC 2019) Process Set up photo area with everything at right angles where necessary, and parallel where necessary. 90º angles and parallel planes are crucial for minimizing lens distortion. Your artwork needs to be perpendicular to the floor, as does your camera lens. The front glass edge of the lens needs to be parallel to the artwork. Use your level to check artwork angle and other things, and use the level sensor on your camera to make sure it is both vertically and horizontally balanced, and pointed precisely to the exact center of the painting. Use a tape measure to calculate any measurements needed or to check straight alignments. Set up 2 studio lights at 45º angles to your artwork, halfway between your camera and the artwork. Each light should point towards the opposite vertical edge of the artwork, at the halfway point of the artwork’s vertical measurement. Set up a black, gray, or white sheet behind your artwork, if your studio wall isn’t already white, gray, or black. The background that your camera sees around the artwork will influence how it processes color and adjusts its white balance. For really dark artworks, I like a black background, and for really light ones, a white background. Attach polarizing filters to the front of each studio light, as flush as possible to the light hood without touching the bulb (which could melt the filter gel). I rigged my own attachment system for the lights I have out of wire and masking tape. Adjust camera speed to 100 ISO, and match its white balance to the type of bulbs you’re using in your studio lights (if tungsten, choose tungsten setting, etc) Set image quality to the highest setting (camera RAW) Set lens to whatever its midpoint aperture is, usually F8-11 for your typical F16 or F22 capable lens. Attach remote switch, and use screen view instead of eyepiece viewing so that you don’t risk bumping or shaking your camera. With all overhead and ambient lights off, and only the two filtered 45º angle studio lights on, spin the circular polarizer filter on your lens until all glare highlights on the artwork disappear (when viewed through the camera lens). If some glare or highlights remain, you may need to rotate the 2 filters on the lights a bit. There should be no other light entering the room or hitting the artwork. Focus the lens as tightly as you can on the artwork. Adjust camera shutter speed according to these final calibrations. For me it’s usually in the 20-30 seconds range. With such a long exposure there can be absolutely no movement or shaking of the artwork, the camera setup, the floor, or the room you’re in, or else you’ll get a slightly blurry or hazy image. Bracket your shot, meaning find what appears to be the most accurate shutter speed as indicated by the camera sensor, then also shoot one or two speeds slower and faster than that, just to ensure you have the proper exposure. Cameras can be fooled by paintings with a high degree of contrast between their lightest light areas and darkest dark areas. You can use the compensation settings on your camera to help with this as well. On your computer, make sure your monitor is calibrated and you’re working with the proper display brightness. Make sure the lighting in your computer area is balanced daylight bulbs or natural daylight from windows. Place the artwork next to or near the computer monitor, in the same balanced/neutral lighting. Open your raw files in Photoshop and select the most accurate exposure by comparing to the original artwork. Edit as needed to crop, straighten, or correct lens distortion. Just about all lenses will distort or warp the picture plane as it gets closer to the edges of the lens’s viewing area. If your artwork is a perfect rectangle but is no longer geometrically perfect in the photo, drag horizontal and vertical guidelines onto the image and use EDIT > TRANSFORM > DISTORT and/or WARP functions to correct the artwork’s shape. Edit any inaccuracies in color with adjustment layers and layer masks as needed, comparing against the actual artwork next to your hopefully decently calibrated monitor, in the same balanced lighting. The most effective adjustment layers for these minor tweaks are HUE/SATURATION, COLOR BALANCE, LEVELS, and SELECTIVE COLOR. Since my studio setups at the various places I’ve lived over the years have almost never been ideal, I usually need a combination of all of these adjustment layers on every image to get it 95-100% accurate. In rare cases I’ve used multiple of each, with parts of each erased in order to let parts of the other layers show, to match what was happening in each area of the painting. As noted above, these last 2 steps can get very technical and require a good working knowledge of Photoshop, which can be gained by tutorials or books of course, or simply from hours of controlled experimenting on a sample image. Edit any blown pixels, dust, hairs, or other minor imperfections with CLONE STAMP tool. If you plan to turn the digital file into a physical print, you’ll likely have a second round of color editing to do on the file, once you see a proof from whatever printer you’re using. Printer ink on paper is a much different process and effect than a backlit digital screen, and every print format is a little bit different in how it needs to be prepped. Wow, being a professional artist is a lot of work. This isn’t really a step, I just wanted an even 20 steps because it looks better and makes me feel good. So that’s it! Just a really quick and simple process (just kidding) for getting guaranteed amazing, coffee table book, professional-ass website, or giclee print quality artwork reproductions every time. Enjoy!
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November 1, 2019
On The Benefits of Drawing
About 10 years ago I leveled up my artistic practice in all areas after discovering the classical atelier system of art education. Before that time I had been piecing together my own slow, winding learning trajectory in the realism painting genre, unintentionally slowing my progression with an over-reliance on photographic reference. In contrast, the atelier system is based on working directly from life, whether it be a live model, a still life, or a landscape. Painting from life in Ohio, 2017 In short, observing directly with one’s own eyes forces the brain and the artist’s hand to convert the 3 dimensions of real life into the 2 dimensions of a flat canvas. Over time our eyes-brain-hand feedback loop becomes seamless, and we learn how to reproduce exactly what we see. The real-time, real life mental calculations of angles, lines, curves, planes, perspective, light and shadow, and millions of color possibilities have a measurable result: if the drawing or painting looks indistinguishable from what we’re observing, then those myriad calculations are overwhelmingly correct. Of course, eventually, an artist needs to learn how, when, and where to diverge from absolute accuracy in order to create a work of art that transcends the mere replication of reality…but the learning process that we submit to in order to reach that point is surprisingly valuable in its own right. “Lower Falls at Old Man’s Cave”, 8x 10 inches, oil on panel, 2017 Arguably the single most important artistic discipline or skill, simple life drawing is actually a fairly complex amalgam of skills, requiring at least a rudimentary working knowledge of geometry, physics, optics, and the ability to plan sequentially. True life drawing begins as little more than primitive map making–the plotting of coordinates in space–and ends ideally with an incredibly nuanced understanding of the physics of form, mass, and light. This great article I stumbled across got me thinking about drawing; what it forces our brains to do, and how it benefits our brains. While intended for the non-artist reader, it makes great cross-disciplinary connections and serves as a nice reminder and motivator for anyone who is an actual practicing artist, of just how valuable drawing is to our art. https://qz.com/quartzy/1381916/drawing-is-the-best-way-to-learn-even-if-youre-no-leonardo-da-vinci/ “Form & Emptiness”, graphite on paper, 2012 Form & Emptiness (detail), graphite on paper, 2012
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October 4, 2019
On The Mechanics of Seeing
A long time ago on this blog I touched upon the brain’s instinctive practice of limiting the amount of visual information we tend to perceive. The point of writing about this was that it applies directly to the practice of painting from life, and really, to all methods and genres of painting. But in particular, representational realism, because obviously this genre is so closely tied to the science of seeing. As opposed to passively looking, actively seeing something means thinking about it as we look, with intention, to analyze and deconstruct what is happening with light, shadow, value, color, form, dimension and so on. The more intimately we understand all those criteria as artists, the better equipped we’ll be to recreate on canvas what we’re seeing in real life (or our reference material), both in terms of accuracy and emotional expression–that unquantifiable sense of awe and magic that occurs when viewing the best or most powerful art. The paintings that have both–an uncanny sense of believably as well as a profound sense of feeling–are in my opinion the very best, and are of course what I strive towards whenever I pick up a brush. I feel that in order to even begin to have a chance at achieving one or both of those goals, an artist needs to understand what the eye-brain feedback loop is doing, and why. “Greer’s Ferry Lake Sunset”, 5×7 inches, Oil on Panel, 2018 (painted en plein air) In short, our brain instinctively wants to find the shortest distance between two points. Without us telling it to, it sifts through all the billions of points of visual data our eyes take in, then selects the most important of that data to help us navigate the environment and make choices on how to act. I’ve found this phenomenon to be most apparent, and challenging, in the genre of landscape painting. When gazing out over a forest of trees, each with millions of leaves and hundreds of branches, all bathed in a haze of atmosphere, that view usually gets condensed into a clumpy horizontal band of olive-y green so that our brain can free up computing power for anything else that may be of more pressing concern. Overriding this instinct takes intention and a conscious choice in the moment. In doing so we can then bring our awareness slowly to each and every minuscule aspect of the scene in order to pick and choose what we will emphasize, subordinate, or omit entirely. Being an artist takes this one challenging step further. From there, we have to discern when, where, and how best to simplify the overwhelming amount of detail we see in order to create the illusion of what we were looking at for the viewer of our painting, which allows their own brains to fill in the omitted details on its own. And we have to do this all the while adhering to artistic principles that make good art, like color harmony, composition, value structure, symbolism, hierarchy of focus, among others. Err too far to the accurate detail side, and you can end up with a technically proficient but soulless, boring rendition. Err too far to the interpretive extreme and you can end up with a distorted, unintelligible or non-convincing pile of whimsy (in other words, abstract expressionism?). Hitting the sweet spot for our goals as representational realist painters is the ultimate challenge, daunting and addicting all at once. If you want to learn more about the phenomenon of seeing from a more scientific angle, read this great article I found today. Some nice parallels can be drawn from it to what we are doing as artists. https://www.quantamagazine.org/your-brain-chooses-what-to-let-you-see-20190930/
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September 2, 2019
Pest
“Pest”, oil on panel, 11 x 11 inches, 2019 Here’s a silly random painting I made recently. “Pest” Oil on insect shaped panel For @christian1perez ‘s “Metamorphosis” art show at Hope Gallery in New Haven CT, September 7, 2019 What if humans are actually the cockroaches, infesting this beautiful planet and spreading disease, pollution, war, garbage, and waiting to be exterminated by an increasingly angry Mother Nature? This ridiculous painting started with that premise, or nagging question, in mind, and then just snowballed from there… Coming up with an effective composition on a laser-cut beetle shaped panel with very thin arms sticking out proved difficult, and eventually led me right back to the most obvious solution: acknowledge the shape of the panel with the image itself. Why slap a random image on a bug-shaped surface? So I slapped a bug-shaped semi-self portrait of me on a bug-shaped surface. The inspiration for the tattoo on my, uhh, its? back was an ancient Egyptian temple carving of a scarab beetle, and then I paired it with a classic traditional Americana tattoo dagger. The inspiration for the butthole and sack from the back was–ahh, actually, I’ll just stop there. Enjoy. “Pest” (detail)
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August 7, 2019
The End of Websites
I’ve slowly let this blog turn to seed and die out, as the attention of the whole world turns to social media. I’ve noticed website traffic declining ever since the cultural takeover of Instagram, Snapchat, etc. and along with that, my own website use has dwindled. I’ve posted far fewer updates to this site, and even less than that to this blog, since basically no one reads blogs anymore? This was always a labor of love and not profit or mass audience cultivation, but as all the eyeballs move to Instagram, it has taken over as the defacto blog of choice, since the platform lends itself to quick, easy, effective content sharing, especially for visual creators like me. As the task of staying relevant and worthy of someone’s attention becomes increasingly difficult, and the pace of changing internet trends gets increasingly difficult to keep up with too (it would seem?), I’ve found it also more difficult to produce the long format art-related content I love. Explaining things, teaching things, revealing insights to the curious through writing has always been enjoyable to me. I have 2 sold out books now only available as ebooks ( here! ) because of that love. And just because websites and blogs seem to be dying, doesn’t mean I’m creating any less; you can follow all of my work in all mediums on Instagram, of course. And I’ll always post new paintings on this website, in their respective gallery categories. As well as post major announcements to the front page. For now, since I have no major projects or shows in the works with deadlines to observe, I am available for commissions.
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June 16, 2016
Anatomical Study from Cadavers
One major artistic discipline for which I have the least formal study is anatomy. I find the human figure and its underlying structures infinitely challenging in all of the complex shapes, sizes and movements they’re capable of. I’ve logged many hours of figure drawing practice from live models as well as a few painting sessions but never have had the opportunity for long term, in-depth study, starting from the inside out. Which is why I jump at the chance for any opportunity to briefly work on this artistic area, and recently was given a rare and unique invitation to observe and paint a cadaver dissection at a local training facility for medical school and EMS students. Knowing about the rich artistic tradition of anatomical study from cadavers, which began in earnest during the Renaissance in Europe, I was thrilled to uphold and carry forward this practice as a contemporary artist. In recent times the tradition has mostly faded, and I relish the privilege I was given for a day to revive it and link my artistic practice to that of the old masters and forefathers of modern Western art, like Da Vinci, Michelangelo, and Titian, among others. Leonardo Da Vinci, Studies of the Shoulder and Neck, c. 1509-1510 Which isn’t to say that I regard myself to be in their rarified company in any way whatsoever, especially artistically. My accomplishments and artwork are quite meager in comparison with their mastery and all they left us with. What I mean is that, they started and passed on a beautiful tradition of deep artistic study melded with science–a tradition that I, in some small way, have been able to carry on, by practicing in a similar manner. This day of training, although completely fascinating and enthralling, was not easy. We were set up in an examination room kept around the temperature of a refrigerator, due to, of course, the presence of a draped cadaver in the center of the room. Needless to say, these temperatures are difficult to be in for long periods of time without a lot of physical activity to keep one’s blood flowing and core temperature at a comfortable level. So after a while, painting with cold stiff fingers and shivering chest became the biggest challenge…and amusingly, allowed me to relate in a strange way to the severed and dissected arm of the cadaver perched on a crumpled medical drape in front of me, cold and stiff in its own way. After observing the technician peel back the layers of skin and fascia on the forearm, all the while listening intently to his explanations of the detailed anatomy and its functioning, my friend James and I then watched in amazement as the arm was severed at the shoulder joint (quite easily) from its cadaver, and placed before us for further study. I gloved up and made a pleasing arrangement with it, and then got to work for a short hour and a half oil sketching session. Here’s the final result of an amazing day of learning and painting: Study of an Arm, oil on panel, 9 x 12 inches, 2016
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October 8, 2014
On Modern Art
This cartoon, like all of the very best political cartoons, speaks volumes with so little. Hilarious commentary on modern art and the “emperor’s new clothes” phenomenon of many who purport to enjoy it…the joke always seems to be on the viewer. Thanks to Adbusters for bringing this to my retinas recently.
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