Journal
Practice & process notes
Occasional writing on my art practice, techniques, process, and the ideas behind the work.
3 articles on Instagram
July 12, 2021
Art & Life 3: Self Love/Self Harm
"Self Love/Self Harm", digital (Procreate on Ipad Pro), 2021 Although May every year is mental health awareness month, like many others I believe that every month, week, or day of the year needs to be considered a mental health awareness time. I started thinking about this topic, and then this digital drawing I made a few years ago, when I noticed a grocery store employee recently with some of the thickest self harm scars I’ve ever seen, covering both arms. As someone who’s struggled with self harm at times in life I’d like to think I get it, and I tried to psychically project understanding and compassion. Honestly though I think scars look cool and badass and I’m glad Laura at the grocery store is confident and non-stigmatized enough to rock her personal journey in full view. And anyway my perhaps controversial view on self harm is that it isn’t necessarily all bad in all scenarios—it serves a helpful purpose when other alternatives may not exist or would be even worse, and there’s a real fuzzy line between the accepted forms of self harm in society (tattoos, piercings, getting drunk, etc) and the often stigmatized forms like cutting. Of course context determines a lot, and in a perfect scenario you’d want to avoid emotionally-based self harm ever being an option or an urge, but having personal experience with those mind states, I see it all on a spectrum without judgement. The human mind will find a way to make it through a situation any way it can, and that’s one of our species’ most beautiful attributes. This image was originally posted to my Instagram feed, but was removed for violating community guidelines. Understandably, its content could be a trigger for some, and presumably someone reported it, or the AI censor bots caught it, due to the depiction of blade cutting skin. However, possible triggers aside, the intent of the piece and of the post was only positive, and in evidence of that intent were the half dozen or so heartwarming, inspiring stories of personal strength and perseverance through mental struggles and self-harm that various followers shared in the post comments...moments of beautiful honesty and vulnerability which are sadly now lost forever. Since this image inspired a bunch of people to reach out and share those uplifting anecdotes, I resolved to re-post it here on my own censorship-free blog. I invite any comments or stories related to overcoming mental health struggles or coping with self harm urges. De-stigmatizing difficult topics, facing our triggers in order to work through them, and compassion for self and others are the ways to healing and growth!
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August 7, 2019
The End of Websites
I’ve slowly let this blog turn to seed and die out, as the attention of the whole world turns to social media. I’ve noticed website traffic declining ever since the cultural takeover of Instagram, Snapchat, etc. and along with that, my own website use has dwindled. I’ve posted far fewer updates to this site, and even less than that to this blog, since basically no one reads blogs anymore? This was always a labor of love and not profit or mass audience cultivation, but as all the eyeballs move to Instagram, it has taken over as the defacto blog of choice, since the platform lends itself to quick, easy, effective content sharing, especially for visual creators like me. As the task of staying relevant and worthy of someone’s attention becomes increasingly difficult, and the pace of changing internet trends gets increasingly difficult to keep up with too (it would seem?), I’ve found it also more difficult to produce the long format art-related content I love. Explaining things, teaching things, revealing insights to the curious through writing has always been enjoyable to me. I have 2 sold out books now only available as ebooks ( here! ) because of that love. And just because websites and blogs seem to be dying, doesn’t mean I’m creating any less; you can follow all of my work in all mediums on Instagram, of course. And I’ll always post new paintings on this website, in their respective gallery categories. As well as post major announcements to the front page. For now, since I have no major projects or shows in the works with deadlines to observe, I am available for commissions.
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August 1, 2013
Invocation Of Trust
Invocation Of Trust, oil on panel, 4.5 x 8 inches, 2013 Here’s a recent piece I completed for submission to an upcoming charity art exhibit at The Egan Gallery in Fullerton, California, curated by friend and fellow artist Cody Raiza who is a passionate animal welfare activist. This tiny painting was inspired by events this summer at my house in Austin Texas involving the rescue of 2 baby raccoons from a rain catchment bin in my backyard by my partner and I. These two little fuzzballs, normally capable of being quite ferocious, were reduced to feeble, trembling snugglebugs by their traumatic night spent flailing and trying not to drown. They instantly grasped and climbed my extended arms seeking warmth and comfort, and stole our animal-loving hearts in the short time before we entrusted them to the care of an area wildlife rehabilitation center. Of course, never one to miss any artistic photo-op, I snapped away with my iPhone camera and ended up with some gorgeous, heartwarming shots, which after the usual in-phone editing, made their way first to Instagram *, and then to the easel when I realized they were perfectly suited to the theme of this upcoming art show. Edited reference photo from my Instagram account. Here’s the evolution of this image, which just as the title declares, was intended as an invocation of trust in my life, to overcome barriers of fear and isolation, and to elicit sacred tender moments of unity between humans, other beings, all life. Pencil transfer drawing and Grisaille, followed by color block-in and 2-3 layers of color adjustment and glazing. (*This is the first time I’ve painted an image originally intended solely for my Instagram gallery…not sure how I feel about that. I routinely attempt to post content there which is reminiscent of my paintings, and certainly aligned closely with my overall artistic aesthetic, often self-critiquing them afterwards as if they were paintings…but I really despise the over-saturation and cultural-race-to-the-bottom of social media, despite my own degree of participation in it. I’m curious to see how the Ig creative outlet will affect my art in general. To be continued…)
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